Being
a third wheel works - if it’s a TRYcycle. And what I mean is you have to TRY
and put forth the effort. It doesn’t come naturally. It takes work,
communication, and acknowledgement that things are different.
I love being a third wheel! Currently, I’m a third wheel girl to a dating friend, an engaged friend, and several married friends. I love having their significant others as friends! I mean, who doesn’t want more awesome guy friends in their lives?
Here
are some tips that have helped me:
>
When your friend gets a boyfriend, acknowledge to yourself that things will be
different. False expectations lead to disappointment, so just expect that your
friendship with your girlfriend will change slightly. Change is not always a
bad thing! Maybe you gain a new guy friend or learn new things from being
around them.
>
Allow for adjustments in how much time you expect to spend with your friend.
She will be spending time with her boyfriend. This is a good thing and an
exciting thing! They need time to get to know each other and to be together. If
their relationship is headed towards marriage, their time together needs to be
a priority. Give grace as your friend is trying to figure out a new
normal.
>
Become friends with their boyfriend/fiancé/husband. What does your friend love
about him? Find out who he is, what he loves, when his birthday is, etc. Take
interest in getting to know him.
>
Hang out with them as a couple. Get to know them as “them.” Don’t just focus on
your friend; make her significant other feel comfortable and welcome too.
>
Schedule solo time with your friend. It probably won’t be as regular as it used
to be. You might have to schedule it way in advance, but be intentional about
nurturing the relationship.
>
Communicate and be honest with your friend about how you feel. When I was
dating, I had three or four friends tell me they felt neglected in our
friendship because I was spending all my time with my boyfriend. I literally
did not see it (hello infatuation stage of dating!). But I listened and tried
to make adjustments. Sometimes your friend just isn’t aware.
>
Learn from their relationship. What do they do that makes you comfortable or
uncomfortable? Take note for your future relationship.
>
Embrace the awkward. Couples are awkward and weird at times. It’s a fact. So
have fun with the awkward.
>
Know when to give them space. When you are hanging out for extended amounts of
time, see the signs of when they need a chance to talk together and just take a
moment to walk away.
>
Pray. Pray God’s blessing and direction for the couple. Pray away jealousy from
your own heart.
>
Take this time to be comfortable being alone, exploring new hobbies, or making
new friends.
>
HAVE FUN! There is always going to be a learning curve when your friends start
dating, but look for the positives and have fun with this season of life.
What
advice do you have for being a third wheel? What is hard? What is easy?
No comments:
Post a Comment