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    Being a Third Wheel

    Thursday, October 8, 2020

     


    Being a third wheel works - if it’s a TRYcycle. And what I mean is you have to TRY and put forth the effort. It doesn’t come naturally. It takes work, communication, and acknowledgement that things are different. 

     

    I love being a third wheel! Currently, I’m a third wheel girl to a dating friend, an engaged friend, and several married friends. I love having their significant others as friends! I mean, who doesn’t want more awesome guy friends in their lives? 

     

    Here are some tips that have helped me:

     

    > When your friend gets a boyfriend, acknowledge to yourself that things will be different. False expectations lead to disappointment, so just expect that your friendship with your girlfriend will change slightly. Change is not always a bad thing! Maybe you gain a new guy friend or learn new things from being around them. 

     

    > Allow for adjustments in how much time you expect to spend with your friend. She will be spending time with her boyfriend. This is a good thing and an exciting thing! They need time to get to know each other and to be together. If their relationship is headed towards marriage, their time together needs to be a priority. Give grace as your friend is trying to figure out a new normal. 

     

    > Become friends with their boyfriend/fiancĂ©/husband. What does your friend love about him? Find out who he is, what he loves, when his birthday is, etc. Take interest in getting to know him. 

     

    > Hang out with them as a couple. Get to know them as “them.” Don’t just focus on your friend; make her significant other feel comfortable and welcome too. 

     

    > Schedule solo time with your friend. It probably won’t be as regular as it used to be. You might have to schedule it way in advance, but be intentional about nurturing the relationship. 

     

    > Communicate and be honest with your friend about how you feel. When I was dating, I had three or four friends tell me they felt neglected in our friendship because I was spending all my time with my boyfriend. I literally did not see it (hello infatuation stage of dating!). But I listened and tried to make adjustments. Sometimes your friend just isn’t aware. 

     

    > Learn from their relationship. What do they do that makes you comfortable or uncomfortable? Take note for your future relationship. 

     

    > Embrace the awkward. Couples are awkward and weird at times. It’s a fact. So have fun with the awkward. 

     

    > Know when to give them space. When you are hanging out for extended amounts of time, see the signs of when they need a chance to talk together and just take a moment to walk away. 

     

    > Pray. Pray God’s blessing and direction for the couple. Pray away jealousy from your own heart. 

     

    > Take this time to be comfortable being alone, exploring new hobbies, or making new friends. 

     

    > HAVE FUN! There is always going to be a learning curve when your friends start dating, but look for the positives and have fun with this season of life. 

     

    What advice do you have for being a third wheel? What is hard? What is easy?


    Taking Yourself Out On a Date

    Tuesday, October 6, 2020

    Grab a cup of coffee and join me and my friend, Cassidy Jo, as she shares about taking yourself out on a date.


    When you're in a relationship with someone you love, date nights quickly become the highlight of the week. You think about it for the days leading up, you plan an elegant outfit, and ultimately you know, you're going to get to spend undivided time with your favorite person. It's pretty much every girl's dream.


    But what if you're a single girl and date night hasn't been an activity on the calendar in quite a while. Thinking about your perfectly planned night with your perfect Prince Charming, tends to feel like a dream that's way too out of reach. 

     

    Let me offer you a little idea of hope: maybe date night or a day date, isn't only for boyfriends and girlfriends or married folks. Maybe it's for YOU too.

     

    One of the dictionary's definitions for the word [Date] is: a social or romantic appointment or engagement. 

     

    Here's the thing, I happen to be one of those single girls I talked about above. I've actually been one of those single girls for about 4 years now. But the difference is this — being forced into a season of change, allowed me to change my perspective. What I found was, my singleness was actually a chance to engage life, to engage my independence, and most importantly, it helped me to engage with Jesus so much more than I ever had. 

     

    Why do I say all this? It's because "date nights" & "day dates" have become one of my most favorite pastimes. Going to brunch and diving into my favorite bible study, book, or devotional over a warm cup of coffee and a pancake - it doesn't get much sweeter than that. Spending the afternoon shopping with girl friends or strolling a small town square by myself, brings so much light, laughter, and lots of cute new clothes to my closet. And sometimes date night is with a cute new guy I met, but usually it looks more like coffee shops and writing in my journal or oftentimes it’s curled up in my bed watching a movie and talking to God about the future.

     

    Spending time alone with myself and with Jesus really is a lot like what I mentioned in the first paragraph: I look forward to it throughout the week, it's undivided time with the One who loves me most, and the outfit selection is way more comfy. {Oversized sweatshirt and leggings anyone?}

     

    Sweet girl, I want you to still look forward to that date night that WILL be with your Prince Charming -- but until then, I want you to know you are not alone, that treating yourself to a walk in the park/ a pumpkin spice latte/ or a stroll through target really is a lot of fun, and most importantly - that you will never live a day that you are not pursued and loved by GOD.


    Cassidy Jo, is a 31-year-old Christian Blogger in Nashville, Tennessee. Her passion for Jesus & encouraging women that there is ‘Purpose for their Pain & Healing in Him’ is what led her to start her Blog “Still She Laughs” — Proverbs 31:25. Cassidy Jo loves Fruit tea, Shopping, and Spending time with her closest friends!


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