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    Making Decisions

    Monday, June 15, 2020


    I love the freedom I have of making decisions on my own as a single woman. I can hang out last minute. I can commit to leading small groups on Tuesday nights. I can go on that beach trip. 

    But there are some times when I hate making decisions, especially big decisions. On my own. As a single woman.

    There is no safety net of “we” made this decision. The responsibility and the weight of it is on me. “I” made this decision. So if there are any consequences or hard circumstances that come of it, I am held accountable for it. 

    To be fair, I’m sure my married friends have the same love/hate relationships with decisions. They don’t have the freedom of doing whatever they want because they have to consider another person. But then they also get to fall back on the safety of deciding things together. 

    I’m planning to move to a new apartment in July and it’s a really hard decision for me. Is it the wisest financially? Is it in the best location? I feel the weight of being a single woman deciding things on my own when it comes to these big decisions. Maybe you are wrestling with big decisions too - Should I move to a new city? Should I change careers? Can I afford to go back to school? Is it wise to buy a house? 

    The hardest part for me is making decisions that involve putting down roots and investing in a certain direction. The “what ifs” haunt me. What if I buy a house and then someone comes along and I get married within a year and I should’ve just stayed in that apartment? But then what if I never buy that house and I miss out on the delights of having my own place because I am putting my life on hold for a possibility or unknown? 

    The “what ifs” can hold us back. They can immobilize us from taking steps and living by faith. They make you feel stuck in the in-between. One message of singleness I preach to myself and others is to never put your life and dreams on hold for the hopes of a husband or waiting for marriage. But I find myself still being held back sometimes by those wonderings and longings. 

    So don’t put your life on hold. Make those decisions - big and little. And believe that when you trust the Lord with all your heart, you don’t lean on your own understanding, and you acknowledge Him in all your ways, then He promises to direct your path. (Proverbs 3:5-6).

    (To clarify, I’m not saying to make decisions on your own. The beauty of the Church is that we have a multitude of counselors that we can depend on (Proverbs 11:14). God doesn’t leave you to make decisions on your own. You have brothers and sisters in Christ and you have the Holy Spirit.) 

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