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    Ghosting

    Thursday, February 7, 2019



    Ghosted: “when someone you’re dating ends the relationship by cutting off all communication, without any explanation . . . receiving the ultimate silent treatment after several dates, or when you’re in a committed relationship.”


    I got ghosted.


    We had just hung out together and had such a great time. He even said that he had fun! Then I heard nothing for days and days. Then I saw him in a social setting where he ignored me, and it only confirmed what I had already figured: he ghosted me.

    What in the world happened those past few days? I was hurt. And mad (Ok any guys reading this - please just tell us that you’re not interested anymore or that it’s not for you. I’d rather have answers then nothing. Girls - don’t you dare do this to our brothers-in-Christ!).


    So I texted a close friend a ghosting meme along with my frustrations.


    My friend, after we confirmed how much of a jerk he was and how he didn’t deserve me anyways (you know, all the things a good friend says), centered me back on truth. She texted: “Lauren, you are loved - by God and by those around you. Don’t let one guy’s actions towards you dictate how you view and feel about yourself. I don’t know what happened and I understand why you’re feeling the way you are. But I also know that you are learning and growing. Maybe it was just so you would submit to God’s control in your life over what you want. I saw that happen in your life.”


    It was just the Truth and encouragement I needed. So I got out my journal and I wrote several things down that I had learned from this relationship and ghosting experience.


    After writing down my praises in the pain, Truth from my pastor’s message that Sunday flooded my heart: 

    - Suffering is not a punishment. 
    - Sometimes it’s God’s will for us to suffer. 
    - “How we handle suffering reveals who has a handle on us.”


    PREACH! The Lord is purposefully allowing me to suffer and to hurt so that I will glorify Him and become more like Him in the process. At a ladies retreat with my church, the speaker, Leighann McCoy (wish we were related but we’re not) said: “You will have trouble. But you can have peace.” Trouble is guaranteed. But peace is a choice. Believing what God says is a choice. Rejoicing in suffering is a choice. We can choose to do this.


    Sister, ghosting is not ghoul (BOO! Bad puns). And if you find yourself being ghosted, pick yourself up and find yourself at the feet of Jesus - who will never leave us or forsake us. Praise Jesus for this promise!


    Has anybody else been ghosted before? What helps you deal with those feelings of anger, hurt, and being unloved? How do you center yourself back on Truth?
    Ghosted definition from: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-psychology-of-ghostin_b_7999858

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