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    The Lies of Why You Are Single

    Thursday, November 8, 2018


    “When you are fully satisfied with God, He will bring along the right person.” I have had this line said to me countless times to comfort me during times of struggles with singleness. Not only is this a lie packaged with unfounded hopes, but it is also a lie wrapped with wrong motives. It is dangerous to view sanctification as a means of getting a man, not a means of becoming more like Christ.

    When you live in a world that rewards good behavior and punishes bad behavior (this is a GOOD thing), it is easy to think that God operates in the same way. If we faithfully serve and obey Him, then we will have a happy, healthy life and get what we ask for. If we disobey Him or mess up, then we will be punished and He will withhold from us. Our trials, difficult circumstances, and unfulfilled desires cannot be viewed through these earthly lens.

    I am reminded of Job’s friends.

    They ascribed Job’s trials to sin and tried to comfort him by feeding him lies of explanation. “A wicked man writhes in pain all his days” (Job 15:20a). Really? How many of you know a wicked person who has lived a happy, wealthy life (according to the world’s standards)? “Consider: who has perished when he was innocent? Where have the honest been destroyed?” (Job 4:7). I have known several people who have obeyed and served the Lord and have endured the most difficult of trials.

    One of Job’s friends recommends that his trials will go away “if you redirect your heart and lift up your hands to Him in prayer - if there is iniquity in your hand, remove it” (Job 11:13-14a). So . . . we should pray harder? Paul, a righteous servant of the Lord, prayed for his request three times and the Lord didn’t give Him what he asked for (2 Corinthians 12:8). If our prayer isn’t according to God’s will, neither earnestness nor the number of times we ask will guarantee an answer.

    “Maybe God isn’t done with you yet?” The truth is . . . God isn’t done with any of us yet. Paul comforted the Philippians that he was “sure of this, that He who started a good work in [them], will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6). Married. Single. Divorced. Widowed. 20 years old. 90 years old. If you are in Christ and still breathing, He is still working. There is never a moment of “arriving” or “completion” in our sanctification until Jesus comes back.

    In reality, just like Job and his friends, we do not know why the Lord has allowed some things in our lives and have withheld others. Instead, we have to trust that He has a good purpose and a plan. Think of how Job would have responded had he known the conversation between God and Satan (Job 1).

    So when someone tries to offer one of these lies to comfort you during times of intense longing and trial, remember the Truth. Believe this: When I am satisfied with God, I gain the blessings of an intimate relationship with the Savior of my soul. No man - except the God Man - can satisfy me in this way.

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